There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
