It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
