is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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