Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize