dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
