i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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