Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
