Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
