So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This is classic penis vs brain.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
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