I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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