thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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