is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
