is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
then he tried to convert me to islam
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
