shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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