Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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