you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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