i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
