just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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