my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
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