If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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