I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
