Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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