is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
