It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
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We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
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I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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