Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
