we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize