puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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