I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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