Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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