Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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