I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
