I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
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