p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Randomize
