Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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