im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
