God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
