This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
