I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
