I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
