So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
