those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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