How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
