Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
