oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
