I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
