She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
