I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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