So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
