Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
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Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants