Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.