Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo