The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
25 People Confess The Most Awkward Situation They’ve Ever Been In
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
These Are 21 Of The Most Delusional People Ever
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss