I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
