Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
