Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
