the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize