Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He called his prostate his "boner button".
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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