im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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