I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
