sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
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guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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