They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
