so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I touched a dick in church today
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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