Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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