I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
