i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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