Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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