Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
