I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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