It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
