bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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